It began when I discovered my wallet had been stolen. Later the same day, by a fantastic coincidence, a courier turned up from HSBC, with a replacement card for my debit card, which I thought was quite timely. Still, the lost card was floating around in someone’s hot little hands, and blocking it seemed a priority.

Silly me.I must admit, I started out with a soupcon of scepticism. I have dealt with their call center earlier, and it often takes a lot of time to wade through their miasmic effluvium.

So I went over to the nearby branch, to report the loss and to validate the replacement card, and tried to get this done over the counter.

Needless to say (in fact, it isn’t. If I had nothing to say, why would I be writing this blogpost?), the bank doesn’t have a system for reporting a lost card over the counter. The helpful attendant asked me to use the phone hanging on the wall nearby, next to the ATM machines. Incidentally, the bank at noon was quite crowded, and pretty well every moment of my side of the conversation that ensued could be heard clearly by everyone waiting inside. I know, because I could see them smile now and then.

The IVRS had a specific number (3) for lost cards, so getting someone, presumably human, on the line didn’t take long. I haven’t registered for a phone PIN, so went through the account verification and moved right on to my main concern: blocking my stolen card so that no-one could misuse it.

This is how the process works: you confirm your account number, the voice asks if you want your card blocked (and not, for instance, the card of the second accountholder), and on confirmation voila! the card is blocked. I then told the voice that I had fortunately already got a replacement card, and would now validate it in the ATM (on rereading the covering letter, I found that I could also have validated it on the phone).

When I gave her the card number, I was startled to find that it was identical to the card she had just blocked. My blood pressure rose, which is a really good thing, I think, when one needs some energy.

I didn’t know I needed it, but I was soon to find out.

I asked her to verify it, because the duplication seemed quite strange. The easiest way, it seemed to me, was for her to track back my last ATM transaction, and to get the card number used for it, and to then swap the blocked and open card numbers.

No can do. In fact, she apparently decided this was a good time to escalate my call ‘upstairs’, with a specious excuse, in fact without telling me.

‘Premier department, how may I help you?’ said a pleasant voice, about fifteen minutes later, unpleasantly. I asked her whether she knew why the call had been transferred, and was reassured. Notwithstanding this brief moment of pleasure, I then had to go through another round of account verifications, whilst also pointing out to her that I am not, actually, a Premier customer, the kind who has countless wealth deposited in or managed by the bank.

Let me pass over the next thirty minutes of pointless chatter, except to mention that somewhere around this time, a lady using the ATM came up to me and said, “Congratulations.” Turned out she was mightily impressed by my ability to continue this conversation without losing my temper and screaming blue murder.

After another ten or fifteen minutes of what must be the world’s worst Muzak from their IVRS, I got my third ‘voice’ – who claimed to be a manager and specifically on the line to sort out this tangle. She then called me Mr P_______ P_______, a name not calculated to fill me with deep faith, since it isn’t mine. She also rapidly revealed she knew nothing of my (by now) hour long marathon session with other ‘voices’.

Gentle Readers! I still didn’t lose my temper! but half an hour later, I finally had an assurance that, after checking the ‘system’, I would get a call back on my cellphone – just be patient for 5 minutes.

I had to spend a minute here updating their system with my current phone number, which I could have sworn I had done about 4-5 years back, after having switched to my current service provider. In any case, neither of the two numbers she read out to me ever belonged to me, as far as I can recall.

So, at 1:30 pm, I left the bank and went to do the other things put off while chatting up these three ladies.

I was sitting at home, some 25 minutes later, when voice #4 rang up. It turns out that when the bank replaces a current card (to avoid problems due to magnetic strip degradation, I presume), it issues a fresh one with the same number, but with a discreet ’2′ embossed in addition. But, wonder of wonders, the system revealed that the card used for my most recent ATM transaction also bore the number ’2′, just like the one I still clutched in my sweaty little paws.

Obviously, with such systemic confusion, unblocking the card was no longer an option, so I opted to get a replacement card sent to me. Uh oh. Need a telephone PIN to do this, but don’t worry sir, we will get it done right away by conferencing this call with the concerned department.

Concerned department still had to go through its ‘procedures’, including asking me to recall from memory (my transaction slips having gone, together with the cards) details of my recent credit and debit transactions. Getting through this hurdle took two – no, it was three – phone calls, which kept getting disconnected, usually at critical moments.

Incidentally, since circuit switched calls hardly ever do get disconnected these days of optic fiber and fully electronic switches, my dark and devious mind tends to think aha! they’re probably using VoIP in the background, possibly setting their system to spoof the calling number (which can’t be dialed inwards). Of course, one isn’t supposed to use VoIP* for a call terminating on a switched phone in India, but there are workarounds.

*VoIP calls are permitted for termination to ordinary telephone instruments outside India, and to computers inside India. The technology is used routinely to direct calls between switches, including the kind of smart switch that we used to call switchboards a few generations back.

Heaven forbid we do anything that might shake the oligopoly of the deep-pocketed telecom companies! That’s my pious plea.

The third call, voice#4 told me that the work was done. I never did get my PIN number, which is just was well, as I don’t intend calling the bank again (you don’t think I LIKE doing this kind of thing, now do you?) if I can help it.

Finally, I am left with a 3 day wait for a replacement card, which believe me, means a huge amount of acceleration for the bank, which normally takes much longer to send the card-PIN combination separately. The current replacement card (for instance) took them 2 months and a day to deliver (letter dated 2 January, delivered 3 March).

Anything else? Yes, my right ankle and arch hurt awfully – I am not used to standing for an hour and half trying to get anything done, much less something so simple.

And oh yes – I learned something new.

If I hadn’t informed them about the stolen card in the first place, I could have simply activated the card I had just received, and the previous card would have been invalidated instantly.

But then, think of the opportunity I would have missed!

PS: Instead of 3 days, my card and PIN were with me on Friday. Thanks, Roanna, you did better than keep your word!

However, it can only do that if the corporate environment is conducive, and quite often, it just ain’t so.

Something that caused a stir in India recently was the subject of Open Document publishing, the use of globally accepted standards for published documents. One software major has been keen to establish its imprimatur in this area, but was rebuffed by voting countries, who are said to prefer a competing standard in Open Source.

The whole controversy made me think that perhaps there is something to be said about ‘market’ forces, when they do not fall into convenient slots. The very visibility of global majors should make their customers and other stakeholders benefit from the exercise of supporting their proprietary file formats and related tech information, yet this is not axiomatic. Here’s an example.

A globally prestigious, but poorly funded journal, published from Mumbai, India, has bought legally supported hardware and software, and found itself out of pocket, and out of support, at the same time.

The text that follows is from a friend, the editor. I have deleted from it the name of "The Journal", and nothing else.

The players in the case are Wipro,

,

an excellently branded company from India, Ingram Micro,

,

well known MNC equipment vendor, and Adobe

,

whose software is exceedingly well known in several areas pertaining to media and publishing.

The behaviour of these companies with the customer (who is clearly not financially strong enough to challenge their shoddy service through legal means), is nothing short of callous and incompetent.

Read on:

[snip]

The issue in brief is as follows:

   1.    In June, "The Journal", Mumbai, placed an order for both hardware and software for its offices with Wipro.
The software order included purchase of (a) Adobe Indesign – 4 licences and (b) Adobe Creative Suite Standard – 2 licences. Wipro, in turn, placed the order for software through the reseller Ingram Micro
Media Pvt Ltd, S G Business Centre, #12, New Hosur Road, Wilson Garden, Bangalore 560027.
      There is a problem with the second part of the order.

   2.The two software packages were received in July 30/July 31 but installation began only in mid August after the hardware was delivered. On beginning to install the software "The Journal" realised there was an error with one part of its order for Adobe software. "The Journal" needed Creative Suite Design Standard, but instead it had been provided Creative Suite Web Standard. This software was not installed and the original software case too was not opened.

   3.The error was partly that of "The Journal". The initial request for an invoice mentioned "Creative Suite Standard" -- 2 licences. It did not mention Creative Suite Design Standard, as it should have. The subsequent invoice from the reseller, via Wipro, did mention Web Standard and "The Journal" erred in not carefully checking the product specs before formally placing the purchase order. However, if the reseller had checked with "The Journal" if we needed the Design or Web Standard version of Creative Suite, we would have realised our incomplete order and made the appropriate correction.

   4."The Journal" needs the Design Standard version because it contains (i) Indesign, (ii) Photoshop and (iii) Illustrator, all programs required for our production process. The Web Standard version contains none of
the above and what it does contain is not of any help to us because we are essentially a print publisher.

   5.I am writing to you to ask if Adobe can exchange the CS3 Web Standard (2 licences) for CS3 Design Standard (2 licences). We would be willing to pay for any difference that may arise. We have been provided the licence keys, but as I mentioned we have not installed the software on any machine (which can be confirmed by the fact that we have not registered the product) and the CD is in its original wrapping.

   6.I realise that this is an unusual request, but we seek the support of Adobe and the reseller in this matter. As you are aware, we are a registered Charitable Trust bringing out a globally respected and independent publication. With limited resources we have been able to put together an order for 6 different licences for 2 Adobe products. It would be impossible for us to buy afresh CS Design
Standard, which we do need. As I said earlier the CS Web Standard is of no use for us. The cost of the two licences for the latter do add up to what for us is a considerable sum.

However, I hope Adobe and the reseller would consider our request favourably, since we are a serious consumer which has already purchased 4 licences of Indesign. As we increase our circulation and
the Economic and Political Weekly diversifies into new forms of publishing, we do see the need for more licences in the near future of both these and other Adobe products.

What does it take for such internationally well reputed companies to back up their claims to being responsible vendors? I really do hope that better sense will prevail soon.

But I wonder, should I hold my breath?

The emails below speak for themselves, but to save busy people the trouble of reading them, here’s a brief introduction.

The sender is a friend, an Airtel customer like myself, who has opted for the GPRS service so that he can browse freely while traveling. The service has always been unreliable, but for the last two months completely absent. He has complained frequently, he tells me, and has been assured that he had issues with his laptop (Toshiba) or with his smartphone (Nokia). Lately, he began to suspect that someone was being a little economical with the truth.

I had also toyed with the idea of accessing the Airtel GPRS service from my MacBook, when someone gave me an old Sony Ericsson smartphone, which had Bluetooth, which therefore makes for quite a handy combination.

In theory.

The GPRS worked painlessly, but only on the phone, not the laptop. I rang the helpline, and was asked to download some drivers from a site, which turned out to be some clever programmer’s solution for Sony Ericsson phones.

Whatever works, I figured.

This didn’t.

I disconnected the GPRS, deciding that the Airtel technical service people were probably unaware about ways of dealing correctly with Apple Macs (I have kind of got used to that, with several different third party gadgets).

Then Ricky told me about his problems. Mainstream laptop, mainstream phone! I thought to myself, if it is happening to him, maybe the problem doesn’t relate to enduser devices at all, but rather to server settings.

Update (early October, 2007):

A different tech came from Airtel, and (it took 2 hours) reset the Sony Ericsson phone. He downloaded modem settings from some site (clearly different from the one I had tried in May), and finally succeeded in getting the service up and running.

Hurrah! To me, this means some possibility of being able to check and reply to my mail when I travel in India (as the tech guy told me, it works abroad as well, but given roaming costs, this is not an option I am ever likely to want to experience).

How good is it? I don’t have a network bandwidth analyser, but it is fast enough to allow me https access to GMail. I will publish soon some of the key learnings that we have had at the india-gii mailing list, where comments on connectivity using mobile cellular phones as modems have been discussed several times, and more intensely following the first posting of this blog item.

Update (late September, 2007):

The engineers came over to the house, determined to check the network quality and blame it for the problems. However, I wasn’t having any, because my need is for the data service when I travel, not when I am in Mumbai and in the house.

After two hours of wrestling with the phone modem, it finally occurred to the guy that I have not kept the service on since May. Unfortunately, by the time he realised this, he had managed to do something that kept the phone modem from dialing at all. When he activated GPRS, the laptop could not dial through the phone, although the phone by itself still accesses the Web.

So now the phone is more or less disabled from acting as a data channel device for me. The form factor of the P910 is really not very comfortable for checking mail or anything, as far as I am concerned, so I am very unlikely to use it, except perhaps in some emergency. As I told a friend, maybe one day the iPhone will work in this sector, and maybe I will have the $$$ to afford it.

Otherwise I will have to buy a Nokia. I am sure there is no technical reason that only Nokia phones work on this service, just because the data service equipment is supplied and maintained by Nokia. Oh my goodness, no, who could ever be so suspicious?

Here is Ricky’s latest chapter in his saga. He is still unable to get the full data service working, no Gmail, and no large (>50kb) file transfers. What is disturbing is not what you read below, but in some of the things that remain unwritten: for instance, calls from the Airtel office that claim that the engineers are satisfied that the problem is solved. Ricky now takes written visit reports from the tech guys (who otherwise maintain that they are not expected to give customers any acknowldgement at all).
Here’s the current situation, as of Sept 19, 2007.

Mr Puri’s office called Ricky two days ago to threaten him with some unspecified legal proceedings. Ricky called up head honcho Manoj Kohli’s office in Delhi and bawled them out (Mr Puri’s office refused to give him the numbers, but they are apparently listed on the company website).

Mr Talwar, who heads the Airtel operation in Mumbai, called him back immediately and promised action.

Yesterday, Mr Shetty, who apparently heads technical customer support here, came over to Bandra to see Ricky’s setup and resolve the issue. He called me too (I was not in Bandra), and assured me that he will get my laptop connected with GPRS using the Sony Ericsson phone.

Tomorrow. I just got a call from Mr Parikal of tech support, who confirmed his colleague will visit.

I hope so.

Enjoy reading on.

———- Forwarded message ———-
Date: Sep 12, 2007 10:31 AM
Subject: Fwd: Total disruption of GPRS data services provided by AIRTEL.
To: binu.puri@airtel.in

Dear Mr. Puri,
I refer to our telephonic conversation on 10.9.2007, whereby you assured me that the problems faced by me with the Data services would be resolved within 24 hours.
Please note that the problems faced by me, have not been resolved.
Regards
M Ralhan

———- Forwarded message ———-
Date: Sep 10, 2007 11:13 AM
Subject: Fwd: Total disruption of GPRS data services provided by AIRTEL.
To: binu.puri@airtel.in

To,
Mr. Binu Puri, Manager legal, Mumbai, Bharti Airtel Ltd.
Dear Mr. Puri,
With reference to your telephone call regarding the problems faced by me with AIRTEL GPRS data services, as per your request, I am forwarding you email sent to the Appellate Officer, Airtel, Mumbai and Delhi, for your reference.
Regards
M Ralhan

———- Forwarded message ———-
Date: Sep 10, 2007 10:08 AM
Subject: Total disruption of GPRS data services provided by AIRTEL.
To: appellate.mumbai@airtel.in, appellate.del@airtel.in
Cc: ceo.direct@airtel.in, Nodalofficer.mumbai@airtel.in

From:

Munesh Ralhan

Regarding: Total disruption of GPRS data services provided by AIRTEL.

AIRTEL Mobile Numbers xxxxx 45607 & xxxxx 74259

Dear Sirs,

I write to you further to my email dated 30.8.2007 addressed to you regarding the problems faced by me with Airtel GPRS data services. Attached please find following emails sent to and received by AIRTEL, which are self explanatory.

1. Email dated 1.9.2007 sent to CEO, Bharti Airtel Ltd., attached with:-

a) email dated 28.8.2007 sent to the Nodal Officer, Customer Care & Sr. Relationship Manager of Bharti Airtel Ltd regarding visit of the engineer and test conducted on 25.8.2007 and observations made.

b) email dated 21.8.2007 sent to the Nodal Officer, Customer Care & Sr. Relationship Manager of Bharti Airtel Ltd.

c) email dated 6.8.2007 sent to Sr. Relationship Manager, Bharti Airtel Ltd., with

d) email dated 1.8.2007 received from the Sr Engineer, Data Services, Technical Support, Bharti Airtel Ltd. regarding test conducted on 1.8.2007 and observations made.

Till date I have received no reply from the CEO, Bharti Airtel Ltd. or the Nodal Officer, Bharti Airtel Ltd.

2. Email dated 8.9.2007 received from the Sr. Relationship Manager of Bharti Airtel Ltd regarding visit of the engineers to conduct test again.

3. Email dated 8.9.2007 received from the Engineer, Data Services, Technical Support, Bharti Airtel Ltd. regarding test conducted on 8.9.2007 and observations made.

Prior to the visit/report of the Sr Engineer, Data Services, Technical Support on 1.8.2007, I was continuously misinformed for more than a month that the Data services are working fine and the issues are with my Toshiba Laptop. HCL/Toshiba after doing complete tests and reformatting my laptop concluded that there is no problem with my laptop and the internet problems faced by me was due to Airtel.

Thereafter on my insisting, the Sr Engineer, Data Services, Technical Support, was sent to conduct a test on their laptop to prove to me if the Data services are working and his report/email dated 1.8.2007, clarified that the problems are with Airtel Network. Tests were again conducted by Airtel engineers on 25.8.2007 & 8.9.2007, proving that there is total disruption of GPRS data services due to some major Network issues of Airtel. The problems faced by me for the Data services are in Bombay, Pune & Delhi. I have been informed by many friends who are using Airtel data services that they are also facing similar issues/problems.

I expect immediate action and restoration of full data services on my mobile numbers, for use with the laptop, by Bharti Airtel Ltd., without prejudice to my right to further claims on account of disrupted data services for several months.

Kind regards

Munesh Ralhan

Attached: emails as above

Subject: Total disruption of GPRS data services provided by AIRTEL.

To: appellate.mumbai@airtel.in, appellate.del@airtel.in

Cc: ceo.direct@airtel.in, Nodalofficer.mumbai@airtel.in

Dear Vickram,
With reference to the discussion we had regarding the AIRTEL GPRS data services and your similar experience of the problems, I am forwarding you email sent to the Appellate Officer, Airtel, Mumbai and Delhi for your reference.
Regards
M Ralhan

(The following paragraphs are the detailed emails sent to and from Airtel and Mr Ralhan before he reached the stage of communicating with the legal office)

ATTACHMENT – 1.

Email dated 1.9.2007 sent to CEO, Bharti Airtel Ltd. after exhausting all efforts to solve the GPRS data service issues.

Date: Sep 1, 2007 2:31 PM
Subject: Fwd: xxxxx74259 & xxxxx45607
To: ceo.direct@airtel.in
Cc: Nodalofficer.mumbai@airtel.in, kamal.sharma@airtel.in

Dear Sir,

I write to you after exhausting all efforts in rectifying the problems faced by me on my above mentioned numbers. Attached please find emails which are self explanatory.

I would appreciate if you would kindly look into the issues and revert if and when the problems faced by me would be resolved.

Kind Regards

M Ralhan
———- Forwarded message ———-
Date: Aug 28, 2007 10:48 PM
Subject: xxxxx74259 & xxxxx45607
To: kamal.sharma@airtel.in

Cc: Nodalofficer.mumbai@airtel.in, 121@airtelindia.com

Dear Mr. Sharma,

I refer to the visit of your network engineer Mr. Santosh Sawant on 25.8.2007 at my Bandra residence, arranged by you to again test and report the problems being faced by me. The test conducted by the engineer again reiterated the problems faced by me which was reported by your engineer Mr. Vikrant by his email on 1, 8.2007. With reference to your telephone call today that the network issues have been rectified, upon connecting to the Internet, I find the problems still persists.

It is quite obvious that Airtel is not capable in solving the problems faced by me. There seems to be major issues with the Airtel Network which needs to be rectified. I would appreciate if you stop conning your customers. Many of my friends who are also using Airtel data services are facing similar problems.

I again request you to revert with the telephone number and email address of your CEO. This issue must end.

M Ralhan

———- Forwarded message ———-
Date: Aug 21, 2007 11:27 AM
Subject: Fwd: GPRS & MY AIRTEL issue of Mr Rahlan
To: kamal.sharma@airtel.in
Cc: vikrant.j@airtel.blackberry.com , Nodalofficer.mumbai@airtel.in, 121@airtelindia.com

Dear Sirs,

Regarding: Mobile Nos. xxxxx 74259 & xxxxx 45607

There is a limit to a customer’s patience with regard to service provided by Airtel and the repeated false assurances rendered by Airtel that the problems are being rectified.

I again request you to kindly provide the services as contracted within the next 24 hrs or I shall be forced to take the services of another service provider at the cost of Airtel, which please note.

Please also give me the email address of the CEO, Customer care head and Technical head of Airtel.

Regards

Munesh Ralhan

———- Forwarded message ———-
Date: Aug 6, 2007 12:27 PM
Subject: Re: GPRS & MY AIRTEL issue of Mr Rahlan
To: Vikrant
Cc: kamal.sharma@airtel.in

Dear Mr. Sharma,

I would appreciate if you would be truthful as to – if and when Airtel can rectify the problems faced by me. I have been complaining to you since months of the intermittent working of your data services.

Regards

Ralhan

On 8/1/07, Vikrant wrote:

Hi,
As per your request I visited Mr Rahlans residence at Bandra-West.Tested the GPRS connectivity on my Laptop for about 3 to 4 hours. Following are the observations of the test :-
- The connectivity was working but slow compared to normal connection speed.
- The GSM network was also found to be fluctuating frequently,in between 30 to 80 %.
- The most major issue is the upload speed. Outgoing emails are a problem because of this. Have tried sending outgoing mails from various sites like gmail, yahoo etc but wasn’t able to get through. Even a email with a size of 400 kb doesn’t go through.So the issue needs to be addressed to the network department for rectification.
-The issue was observed on both of their numbers one Mumbai number and other Delhi number.
- Also when he contacted the customer, he was forwarded to the technical help cust care, & the information he received was that his service for using internet on laptop is not activated.
- Also he is having a problem in registering for the MY AIRTEL service for managing his Airtel Mumbai number account. while registering he gets a message as his number cannot be register for the services. And Mr Rahlan wants to avail this service as soon as possible & needs a resolution of the issue.
–
Vikrant
Sr Engineer
Data Services
Technical Support
Bharti Airtel Ltd
Mumbai

ATTACHMENT – 2.

Email dated 8.9.2007 received from Sr. Relationship Manager, Bharti Airtel Ltd. Informing visit of Airtel engineers.
From: Kamal.Sharma@airtel.in
Date: Sep 8, 2007 10:09 AM
Subject: GPRS related
Dear Sir,
This is with regards to the GPRS problem which you are facing at your
residence.
The engineer Santosh ( Network) and Siddharth ( GPRS engineer) shall be
visiting your residence today morning for the same.
Thank you very much for the cooperation.
Regards,
Kamal Sharma.
Sr. Relationship Manager.
Bharti Airtel Ltd.
M: +91 98920 49653
E: kamal.sharma@airtel.in

ATTACHMENT – 3.

Email dated 8.9.2007 received from Airtel engineers regarding the GPRS TEST conducted and observations made.

From: Siddharth mujumdar
Date: Sep 8, 2007 12:16 PM
Subject: xxxxx45607/xxxxx74259
To: kamal.sharma@airtel.in
hi kamal

As per your instruction that the problem faced by Mr.Ralhan on the numbers xxxxx45607 and xxxxx74259 have been resolved, I have visited Mr.Ralhan house at bandra-west along with Santosh Sawant (technical network team) for GPRS connectivity and to test the issue on the numbers of Mr.Ralhan for data services , the following test was conducted on Mr.Ralhan’s machine with both the above mentioned numbers and also same tested on our machine with my number xxxxx45595 . the following observations are of the test conducted

1) the connectivity was working but it was very slow as per normal speed

2) the issue with outgoing mail , we tried sending mail from various sites with normal 50kb attachment from Mr. Ralhan.s and also our laptop it was unable to send.

3) due to network issue the network is fluctuating and due to speed the even downloading and normal browsing speed is a problem.

4) even while normal browsing it continuously gets disconnected

the above was tested on the data card , motorola A780 , nokia 9300 , nokia 3230 with bluetooth and data cable. The problems are observed in all.

as above mentioned issue is due to server problems and we are unable to resolve this.

regards

siddharth

data services